I've subscribed to the fact I bond very deeply with people when they allow it. Im not ashamed of this fact, if it gets me hurt so be it, but I have an honest desire to be compasionate, loyal, protective and giving to those who accept me as friend.
In amoung the furry community I found that I like how this can be shown in the form of art, and feral/anthro forms that allow one to be closer then the usual social circles usualy teach.
So to me a "Pack" goes beyond wolves or whatever herd you want to call it, I find I learn and love through expression and alot of times these characters help me do that, that dosn't mean I don't love myself or that I replace people with characters. But I find that dispite distance something as silly as a portrait of two fursonas togeather makes me feel closer to my friends.
I will never say no to those who ask to be here, but know yes I am sensative, yes I am also callouse too. Its a two way street and I've learned to accept that. I love so many of you and you help me everyday so much and I can't thank you all enough.
My Pack:
I don't care how its taken, yes this is important to me, yes I value friendships deeply and all that they entail. I'll always bend over backwards and do whatever it is I can to help these people. Don't ever feel as if you can't ask, I feel most forfilled when helping someone in anyway I can.
~Chow
~Action
Love
Devious Comments
ILU
ILU
ILU
ILU
Hey, You,
ILU <3<3<3<3333333
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I am the eye peering through the tears of my ravished heart, my single vision impaired by my soul hanging before me, tattered and torn, the word "Pain" carved upon my heart, "Love" long since healed over.
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Im a Phenomena...
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I am the eye peering through the tears of my ravished heart, my single vision impaired by my soul hanging before me, tattered and torn, the word "Pain" carved upon my heart, "Love" long since healed over.
but let me tell you something.
Today, I fought with 4 of the closest people. It was a bunch of bullcrap, but the thing I told them was --
" I really fucking feel like I'm just going to go kill myself now. I'm just going to go do a bunch of heroin and kill myself. I just can't trust anyone. I'm too fucking skeptical of having friends now. I just can't. "
Pretty vicious on my part - but you know, I normally never get mad. I never say things like that - I would like to call myself always in control. If they piss me off, I bite my lip and tolerate it because even underneath all my cold and tough bs I still long for the ability to please people. But yeah, they pissed me off that I said something like that - and it was in all seriousness, too.
I lay there for awhile, thinking about dying. Not answering them.
Then out of the blue, I logged onto Furcadia. I went around seeing if anyone in our crew was online. I'd met you guys like what, two three days ago?
But on Furc I get to be everything I'm not IRL.
Caring, passionate, adorable, little Alice.
I don't know why I act this way online. I'm not saying I'm being fake. It's all real. But it's just not how I am IRL.
IRL I'm popular, surrounded by friends at school, someone that everyone seems to try and get to know.
In public I like to be polite, courteous, I'm nice to all of them even if I find them moronic or annoying. Though it might be because I think I'm above these people, and I think they know I feel that way.
I'm not really close to any of them. Everyone thinks i'm intimidating. Tough. A stone. If they come to be crying, looking for advice - I'm more blunt and honest then they would of appreciated.
Being kind, caring when someone is upset and trying to cheer them up is all effort for me. But with you guys, I'm willing to be as sweet as it takes to cheer you up.
I'm just a mean person. I don't really like many people. People end up not liking me. I don't endorse relationships. I don't encourage anyone. I just don't do a lot of things that nice normal people should do, I make people feel lke shit and I ruin the lives of some because I break their heart. And I don't care. I just care about myself.
But after a few days with you guys, you've melted me into a fucking two tailed fox who wants to bone everyone. Isn't that just crazy?
Instead of cursing left and right like I normally do, I'm like D: nom kiss purr ^^ ....it's just insane. It's just not me.
But I mean all of it. Cos you guys rock.
And to think, I came on Furc thinking I'd get some roleplay for a few days and grow out of it, but as soon as I did some art I'm hooked to you guys. I don't even look for dreams to roleplay in anymore.
ANYWAY. I don't know why I wrote all of that. What I meant to say was -
" I feel a part of a pack too, ILU fae "
but it came out all strange and disorderly. Hope you enjoy love, You're ze' awesome.
See ya,
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Im a Phenomena...
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Group Account: ~RANDOM101
Furcadia Portrait Commissions: ~FurcadiaPortraits
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Im a Phenomena...
--
Group Account: ~RANDOM101
Furcadia Portrait Commissions: ~FurcadiaPortraits
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